That's how family members are describing their emotions after the body pulled from the Fox River Saturday in Little Chute was identified as 20-year-old Caitlyn Xiong .
Xiong had been missing from Appleton since October 5.
Family members said they feared the worst when hearing there was a body pulled from the Fox River on October 14.
Xiong's family said it was uncommon for her to leave home without telling anyone.
They told NBC26 they tried to keep faith that she might have gone out with a friend, or simply forgot to tell someone she was leaving, but now they're asking more questions.
"It's been heartbreaking just knowing that she was so young, that she was at the beginning of her life, and she doesn't get to live the rest of it and that's the worst part of all," said Kerry Yang, a family member of Xiong.
Appleton Police are still investigating the circumstances surrounding Xiong's death and would not comment on whether or not they believe it is suspicious.