There's no easy way to lose a loved one -- especially when that loved one is a child. A hospice foster family in Sheboygan takes in those children with a terminal illness. These children really don’t have anywhere to go, and no family to care for them until they pass away.
“My heart just completely resonated with them, and it was like, yes, you know, this is something that I could do,” said Cori Salchert, who fosters hospice children.
She and her family take in children that are going to die. They've been a foster family since 2012; Cori and her husband have eight children of their own and have fostered seven so far. Two of those were special cases.
“We may be a little more unique, but by no means are we the only family that does this kind of thing,” said Salchert.
Cori is a registered nurse, with a background in hospice care. They've taken in two children with terminal illnesses -- no cure, no way to make them better, just make them comfortable while they're here.
The first was baby Emmalynn.
“She was able to breathe on her own without assistance of oxygen, so that made it so that she didn't struggle quite so much,” said Salchert. “I could not change the fact that Emmalynn was going to die, but I could change how that was going to happen.”
Cori and her entire family loved Emmalynn, the way a child needs to be loved. They cherished the little girl, until it was time.
“I was actually standing right here at the dining room table on September 27,” she recalled. “I had put on my bathrobe and I tucked Emmalynn in up against my heart and sat here.”
And up against Cori's beating heart, Emmalynn's stopped.
“She was right here, and she was not struggling and she was not alone and she was not in pain and she was loved. And from being here and being loved, to waking up in heaven. I mean how great could that be?” said Cori.
People likely wonder how and why a family would put themselves through pain like this.
“You know, your heart may break, but broken hearts can heal, and you can be better than you ever were before that happened,” Cori explains.
And from that pain, they grow stronger, ready to once again love another baby.
And that's where we meet Charlie.
“He might not last today, or he could live for a while yet. He has Hypoxic-Ischemic Encephalopathy -- so his brain had several insults in the womb where he was deprived of oxygen,” explained Cori.
Charlie requires around the clock care. Cori gets help from a nurse and her daughters who are right there to step in.
Charlie cannot walk and barely moves on his own, but he does show signs of play.
“We just assume he understands everything that we say, and we treat him like a normal baby,” said Cori.
We asked Cori about these children's parents. She explains it was simply too much.
“It was not about not being wanted, or not being loved, especially in Charlie’s case. It was more than what they could deal with,” she said.
This is what Charlie’s father said to her:
“I can't do this, and you can, so thank you -- that's what his dad said, I can't do this, but thank you.”
But Cori says there is no reason to thank her, she's doing what is natural for her and her family -- an entire support system where everyone is a "we".
“Because, when it gets hard, and it gets hard often, there can't be any, I didn't want to do this anyway, this is your problem,” she said.
Each of them steps up and provides love for these children.
“It's not a matter of hanging on to him, it’s a matter of we'll hold him while he's here,” she said about Charlie.
She said what's waiting for him is better than anything in this world.
“He's not able to run and play, but he's going to be able to play football when he gets to heaven,” said Cori.
Their family prepares for another heartbreak, but ready to be better than they were before and love again.
In addition to Charlie, right now the family is also fostering triplets who are about a year old.
May is recognized as National Foster Care Month. If you would like information about foster care, or becoming a foster parent, please click here.
To learn more about Cori and her family, and read her blog, visit the web site or Facebook page.
